Finally, I got some answers from you, something that allow me to know where I stand in your life now. Looks like I'm still in existence in your life.. You sent me a very long text message, I didn't expect you too because I thought you couldn't be bothered. But at least now I know how are you doing and feeling. By the looks of it, you're doing fine without me. But me on the other end, is suffering without you. Yes, I know I'm the one who let you go, I really do regret that. I should have fought for you like how I used to.. But, I wasn't myself that time. I don't know how to explain but I just wasn't myself. I didn't think.. I just said everything out of anger and I really don't meant most of the things that I said.. But it's too late for that now. Everything's been said and done. But I still don't understand why you keep thinking like as if I like her so much?? Why?? I have NO feelings for her. I'm just treating her as a friend. Maybe I was a bit too nice but nothing more than just friends. I know you're hurt by this but I still don't understand how. You said I don't understand how hurt you are by this. Maybe I do, maybe I don't.
Remember what happened last year? You broke up with me because you said you wanted to concentrate on your studies. But after that, I found out you having the time of your life with Hassan while I was all alone, missing you, suffering. Maybe, I do understand how hurt you are, maybe I don't. But I'm sure nothing could hurt more than knowing you actually make out with him. Fuck.. Why do I have to bring this up??? I still can't forget that.. But I still love you though, I still fight for your love.. And until now, I still love you.. I've made a mistake, yes, a very big mistake in letting you go, but can't you forgive me? I need you badly.. I know that time you were single and can do whatever you want, but right after we broke up? That is like betraying the love we had.. But I still forgive you because I love you so much.. But mine, the reason you claim for us breaking up, is nothing as big as that, it's just a crush she had on me.. Can't you forgive me on that? I had no intentions on hurting you.. Can't you give me another chance? Can't you?
To be honest, I don't understand why can't you trust me anymore? I know I changed but I'm definitely the old Myzan now, the Myzan you have always love, the Myzan whom loves you so much, the Myzan who needed you so much, the Myzan who would do anything for you, the Myzan, who you said, is your angel.. I assure you, this is me, this is YOUR Myzan, I'm back, needing you badly..
You said you don't want me back. I was really hurt by that, I almost cried in the bus when I read that but I hold my tears. But, I have no one to blame but myself.. I chose this path and have to bear with the consequences although I don't intend to take this path..
I just want another chance, I want you back, I need you back, I need my life back, I need my other half back, I need my love, I need my one true love, I need my Aishah.. Please give me a chance, I'll do anything to gain your trust and love back.. Yes, I'm desperate, I'm desperate for your love back, I'm desperate to have you by my side again, because I really need you in my life.. Aishah..
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